Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes Review

Stream Notes: 5/17/24
Kingdom of the Planet of the Humans

When the movie War for the Planet of the Apes ended, I felt that the franchise had reached an acceptable close. I would have, however, accepted another installment because I’ve always been an Apes fan. I remember watching the originals as a kid, and even enjoyed Tim Burton’s version.

When I learned that Hollywood was returning to Planet of the Apes–going back and showing the Rise of Caesar, the Dawn of ape civilization, and the final War for ape dominance over humans–I was excited, eager, and not disappointed. After three movies telling Caesar’s story, from his perspective, I was ready for a return to origin, so to speak.

The original Planet of the Apes novel and film adaptation told the story of a human in a world of apes. It revealed this odd world through his eyes. If there was going to be a new film, showing how far the apes have come since Caesar, what better way to learn about it than through the eyes of a human?

The movie trailer for Kingdom even gave us a hint that this was a possibility. We saw a human who looked to have retained her intelligence, and she was running from apes. This was what I grabbed onto because we didn’t get much else. There was nothing else in the trailer to tell us what this movie could be about. This turned out to be good and bad. Good in that the movie didn’t promise things it didn’t deliver. Bad in that there was nothing to deliver.

It’s like the writers had three stories they wanted to tell, and couldn’t decide which to give us. The editing of this film failed to help us, because it had the same problem. What we got was a mash-up of smaller stories that are only connected because they have some of the same characters. In the end the movie ran too long and led nowhere.

What we got was a coming of age story that morphs into the story of a wanna-be tyrant that then morphs into the story of what happened to the last intelligent humans. In fact, I struggled to write this review because there was no cohesive through-line for any of this. The only connective tissue was they all existed in the same 2 hour 25 minute block of time I will never get back.

Here’s the worst part: this movie was completely human-centric. We spent the first third of the film focused on a mysterious human girl. Next, there’s an ape king who covets human power and technology. Finally, the human girl’s motivations are revealed as she leads the apes on a mission that makes no sense.

Like I wrote earlier, this movie is full of nothing. We didn’t get to see ape civilization. We didn’t get answers about any of the big questions the film left us with. The ending will only make sense if we get a sequel. 

My recommendation is that, if you have a desire for Planet of the Apes, rewatch the films that came before this. Any one of them will at least give you plot, a single story to follow, an ending with meaning. Everything that Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes did not.


Other Topics Discussed on This Live…

  • GAME STONKS 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
  • “RED BOX” D&D ART DISCUSSION
  • NEW XBOX PRESIDENT’S INTERVIEW
  • STEVE BUSCEMI ATTACKED: PERPETRATOR CAUGHT
  • BONUS TOPIC: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EX-PREZ OF WotC?

To see the Live stream, check out the following link. The Mariner’s review begins around the 9 minute mark.


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